After a long NBA season we’ve finally got to the part everyone’s been looking forward too. Customers have enjoyed the scrumptious appetizers, but now it’s time serve the main course. This year has been one of the most exciting, competitive seasons in recent memory. We’ve seen the resurrection of the Boston Celtics as Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen have restored “Celtic Pride.” The Western Conference was tighter than a pair of size four daisy duke shorts on comedian Monique. Only seven games separated the first and eighth seed. The West side was definitely the best side, as teams battled for survival on a nightly basis. The West was murderous all year and may have been the greatest conference race in the history of the league. In the East, the Celtics and Detroit Pistons reigned supreme. Now that the season’s over it’s time to separate the contenders from the pretenders. Let’s see just who’s legit and who’s needs to quit.

 Eastern Conference

#1 Boston Celtics vs. #8 Atlanta Hawks
 
 The mere fact that the Hawks made the playoffs is a major accomplishment. Atlanta have been habitual residents in the NBA doldrums for years. The Hawks last playoff appearance was in 1999. Since then Atlanta has been woefully bad. This year the baby Hawks finally started to spread their wings as their young talent has begun to show more maturity and play as a cohesive unit. Joe Johnson (21.7 points per game) is one of the league’s best scorers, osh Smith (17.2 ppg, 8.2 rebounds, 3 assists and 2.8 blocks per) is a ridiculous athlete and a stat sheet stuffer in virtually every category and Mike Bibby (13.9 ppg, 6 assists) is a veteran point guard with a ton of playoff experience and is a big shot maker. Marvin Williams (14.8 ppg, 5.7 bounds) is starting to realize his potential and Al Horford had a stellar rookie campaign, putting up 10 points and 10 boards.
 
 Yeah, that’s all to the good, but it don’t mean dang thang. Boston’s treacherous trio of KG (18.8 ppg, 9.2 boards), Pierce (19.6 ppg, 5 rebounds, 5 dimes) and Ray-Ray (17.4 ppg, 39.8 percent 3’s) orchestrated the greatest single-season turnaround ever, finishing 66-16. The Big 3 are starving for a championship and they ain’t about to let the Hawks be a factor. I don’t even know why I’ve written this long cause the Hawks are going to get smashed. If Atlanta is able to keep their nucleus intact they’ll make some noise one day, but that day ain’t today. -Boston in a broom, 4-0.

 #2 Detroit Pistons vs. #7 Philadelphia 76ers
 
 The 76ers were one of the surprise teams this year. After being totally revamped following the Allen Iverson trade in December of 2006 no one expected anything from the 76ers. Yet, the 76ers played with the blue collar resiliency synonymous with Philly and Maurice deserves big ups for the remarkable coaching job he did this year. Philly is a tremendously athletic, thrilling young team led by future all-star Andre Igoudala (20.points, 5 rips and 5 dishes). Andre Miller (17 ppg, 7 dishes) can get with, if not neutralize Chauncey Billups production and Samuel Dalembert gives Philly a legit inside presence (10.5 points, 10.4 boards and 2.34 blocks).
 
 After last year’s inexplicable debacle against the inferior Cleveland Cavaliers Detroit is mad and they want to unleash their rage on whoever’s in their path. The Pistons are usually their own worst enemy. They have a tendency to get excessively cocky, lackadaisical and believe they’re better than what they truly are. After being humbled by LeBron’s James and the Cavs last year the Pistons overfeeling themselves shouldn’t be an issue this year. Billups (17 ppg, 6.8 dimes), Rip Hamilton (17.3 ppg, 4.2 assists, 44.1 percent triples), Tayshaun Prince (13.2 ppg, 4.9 rebounds) Antonio McDyess (8.8 ppg, 8.5 boards) and Rasheed Wallace (12.7 ppg, 6.6 boards) give Rock City one of the league’s illest starting 5 and they have a deep bench this year as well. Time is dwindling on the number of title runs Detroit has left. The Pistons are hungry, focused and on a mission to regain the title they feel they squandered the last two years. –Detroit in 5.

#3 Orlando Magic vs. #6 Toronto Raptors
 
 This is the forgotten series no one is talking about. Some would even dub it irrelevant, but if they do they’re not true hopheads. If for no other reason tune in to watch two of the best young big men in the game today in Orlando’s Dwight Howard and Toronto’s Chris Bosh.

 Bosh (22.3 points and 8.7 rebounds) and Dwight Howard (20.7 points, 14.1 boards and 2.15 blocks) have contrasting styles but are both extremely effective. Bosh is more of a finesse player. He’s an inside-outside threat who can put the rock on the deck, get to the rack and drill his feathery mid range jumper. Howard is an absolute beast. The Magic’s “Superman” is a physical specimen who’s the prototypical center of the future. Strong, chiseled, absurdly athletic, lenghty and he possesses the speed of a small forward. Howard has been a dominant force all season, leading the NBA in rebounding and dunks (257). Howard prefers to do his damage on the block, often seen dieseling overmatched foes and throwing down ferocious bangs on whoever is foolish enough to get in his way.
 
 Both teams have good players and are pretty evenly matched, but the difference should be Hedo Turkoglu. The 6’10 power forward (stop it cause everyone knows he’s really a 3) has surprisingly emerged as Orlando’s second best player. Turkoglu can score (19.5 points), drain treyballs (40 percent) and he’s displayed play-making skills (5 assists). Turkoglu should win the Most Improved Player Award cause he’s made dramatic progression.  Toronto doesn’t have a forward who can match-up Turkoglu. The Magic should get their first series win since the Penny Hardaway and Shaq days. – Magic in 6.

#4 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Washington Wizards
 
 The two squads have developed a pretty compelling rivalry, having hooked up the last three seasons. The Cavs blasted the depleted Wizards who were without Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler last year. However, this feud was sparked two years ago when LeBron told Agent Zero if he missed the second throw in Game 6 the series was over. Arenas clanked it and Damon Jones knocked down a corner trifecta to send Washington packing.

 The Cavs-Wiz III should be even more heated this year with the Wizards trash talking. Arenas (19.4 ppg, 5.1 assists in only 13 games) saying they want Cleveland was understandable because they match up very well with them and the Cavs have lacked consistency since they acquired Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West and Joe Smith, going 15-13. However, DeShawn Stevenson popping off at the mouth and saying LeBron is overrated is flat out asinine. Dude must be smoking that blue magic in the American Gangster cause those are truly reckless words.  James (30 points, 8 boards, 7 dimes) would be the MVP if he wasn’t playing with a bunch of Tito Jacksons. The last thing the Washington needs is to tick off LeBron who doesn’t need any added motivation. Look for King James to flame broil Stevenson like a Burger King whopper.

 The Wizards have one of the league’s most potent offenses and best trios in Arenas, Butler (20 points 6.7 boards, 2.21 steals) and Antoine Jamison (21.4 points, 10.2 rips). Getting points has never been an issue. This series will probably go to the limit. Washington has the potential to win, but the Cavs are a defensive-oriented team who are better at getting late-game stops when they really need them. – Cavs in 7.

Western Conference

#1 Los Angeles Lakers vs. #8 Denver Nuggets
 
 The Nuggets are the NBA’s second highest scoring team (110.7ppg). They’re a certified offensive juggernaut. Denver possess the league’s highest scoring tandem in Allen Iverson (26.4 points, 7.1 assists) and Carmelo Anthony (25.7 points 7.4 boards) an intense, athletic power forward in Kenyon Martin (12.4 points, 6.5 rebounds), Marcus Camby led the league leader in swats (13.1 rips and 3.61 punches) and an explosive reserves in J.R. Smith (12.3 points) and Linas Kleiza (11.1 points) who’ve both dropped 40 in a game. Denver has one of the most talented rosters and their 50 wins was the third most in franchise history, yet they’re maddeningly inconsistent and they play absolutely no defense, and I mean none.
 
 Denver, or rather Enver cause they have no D is simply deplorable defensively. They must be allergic to defense cause they treat it like it’s some sort of incurable disease like the Ebola virus. It’s really laughable how easily opposing clubs light up the Nuggets porous defense. Kobe Bryant has had the most complete season of his career (28.3 points, 6.3 boards, 5.4 dishes) and is the frontrunner for his first MVP. Pau Gasol (18.8 points, 7.8 rebounds) has made the Lakers a legit title challenger and Lamar Odom is a multi-faceted double- double machine (14.2 points 10.6 rips) who is finally comfortable with his role as the third option. Unlike Denver, L.A. is a fast-break team who actually has a concept of defense. L.A. will slice up Denver’s pathetic defense. Kobe ain’t getting bounced in the first round this year. He’s determined to get a title. – Lakers in 5.

#2 New Orleans Hornets vs. #7 Dallas Mavericks
 
 Last year the Mavs entered the playoffs with high expectations. Fresh off a heart-breaking 4-2 loss to the Miami Heat in the NBA Finals Dallas had the best season in franchise history, winning 67 games. Dallas appeared to be primed to make a deep run and possibly get back to the Finals. However, the Golden State Warriors pulled off a monumental first round upset. The Mavs didn’t just lose, they took got bum-rushed and took a good old fashioned beatdown. Golden State humiliated Dallas outhustling the Mavs, outshooting them, out-executing them, stripping them of their manhood and punked them like little suckas, especially league MVP Dirk Nowitzki

 This year, roles have reversed and the Mavs have gone from the hunted to the hunter. Dallas still has the players to make some noise. Nowizki bounced back from a slow start and showed gumption coming back early from a nasty high ankle sprain to average 23.6 points and 8.6 boards. Josh Howard had an all-star caliber season (19 points and 7 rebounds) and Jason Terry can get buckets in a hurry off the bench.

 The Hornets were the league’s shocker of the year. No one expected New Orleans to emerge as a Western power, but that’s just what they are. Byron Scott has done a phenomenal coaching job and Chris Paul a.k.a. “Little Isiah,” the league leader in assists (21.1 points and 11.1 dimes) has clearly become the NBA’s preeminent point guard. Greg Anthony said Paul was the game’s premiere point at the start of the season and I thought it was borderline blasphemous, but CP3 really is the league’s coldest floor general. Paul has elevated the play of everyone around him. David West was an all-star (20.8 points, 8.9 boards), Peja Stojakovic averaged 16 points and busted 44 percent of his 3’s and Tyson Chandler averaged a double-double (11.8 points, 11.7 rips).

 The x-factor in this series will be futur hall-of-famer Jason Kidd. No team has a definitive advantage other than Paul at the point guard position. Kidd was brought in to instill the mental toughness and grittiness the Mavs lacked the past two years. He has to at least contain Paul or Dallas will once make an inauspicious early exit. – New Orleans in 7.

#3 San Antonio Spurs vs. #6 Phoenix Suns
 
 This is the heavyweight battle everyone has been waiting for. Although it’s a first round series, it has the epic feel of a Western Conference Final. In one corner you’ve got the defending world champions Spurs trying to win back-to-back for the first time to make their dynasty complete. In the other corner the Suns, a team who’s come up short the past few years, hungry to prove their worthy of winning a championship. These squads share mutual respect, but there definitely ain’t no love here. That’s what makes this such a great rivalry.  After last year’s 6 game thriller, which will forever be marred and remembered for Robert Horry cross-checking Steve Nash into the scorer’s table and Amare Stoudemire getting suspended for leaving the bench and walking on the floor, this is bound to be an all-time classic.
 
 Owning the conference’s best record at the time, Phoenix made a bold move swapping Shawn Marion for Shaquille O’Neal before the trade deadline. With chemistry problems over a disgruntled and underappreciated Marion Steve Kerr decided the Suns needed to get a big man to stabilize their feeble interior to have a legit chance of challenging for the title. Phoenix got off to a slow start initially following O’Neal’s acquisition and it looked like it could have been a disastrous move. However, the Suns adjusted to their new identity and gained camaraderie towards the tail end of the year, finishing going 19-12 after the Shaq deal.

 Everyone knows two-time league MVP Steve Nash is an incredible maestro (16.9 points 11 dimes) of the Suns lethal offense (110.1 ppg). Where the Diesel move really pays dividends is defensively and for Amare Stoudemire (25.2 ppg and 9.1 boards). Shaq gives Phoenix an added dimension of an interior presence they’ve never had. “The Big Cactus” sheer size forces opponents to alter shots. Shaq’s also rebounded well (12.9 ppg, 10.6 rips) and has given Phoenix a low post threat to strengthen their half-court offense. Stoudemire has been the biggest beneficiary. Since Shaq’s arrival Stoudemire has dropped nearly 30 points a night. No longer having to deal with getting banged on by beefier centers “Stat” is freed up to run wild thanks to the extra attention Shaq attracts. Stoudemire has been on a rampage, murdering every power forward, including Tim Duncan when he checks him.

 The Spurs are the boring team no one wants to see in the Finals. David Stern and the league office cringe every time San Antonio wins the west because they know they’ll get low TV ratings. Yet, for basketball purists the Spurs are a like a refreshing bottle of water after an arduous workout. It may sound cliché,’ but San Antonio just plays the game the right way. They’re not flashy, they don’t make a lot of spellbindingly raw highlight plays and with the league’s oldest team they’re probably some of Geritol’s most loyal consumers. However, the Spurs are a collection of consummate professionals who represent everything good about a team. San Antonio is selfless, disciplined, mentally tough, stout defensively (90.6 ppg) and they got crazy heart. The Spurs are diverse enough to beat you in a slow down game or a run and gun affair. They just know how to get it done.

 Tim Duncan (19.3 ppg, 11.3 boards, 1.95 blocks) is the ultimate low post player and arguably the greatest power forward of all-time. Tony Parker (18.8 ppg, 6 assists) has gone from a gifted, immature player to one of the league’s elite pg’s, and Manu Ginobili (GINOBILI!) is the game’s deadliest sixth man (19.5 ppg, 4.8 rebounds and 4.5 dimes)  who’s unpredictable game is impossible to read. Greg Poppovich is also a top two, if not the best coach in the show. The addition of Kurt Thomas has given the Spurs another tough veteran who can knock down open jumpers and put opposing bigs on lock.

 Both Duncan and Stoudemire are unguardable and will get theirs, so that’s a stalemate. Shaq will make an impact in the middle with his rebounding and shot blocking if he stays out of foul trouble, and Nash and Parker should neutralize each other. This series will come down to who gets better production out of their sixth men and who can get stops at critical junctures. Leandro Barbosa (15.6 ppg) will have to find to get as many buckets Ginobili. Barbosa is good, but he’s not nearly as complete a player as Ginobili, so the edge goes to Spurs in that department.

 The Suns have improved slightly defensively, but not enough to beat the Spurs. Phoenix still yields too many uncontested lay-ups. The Suns can score on San Antonio, but the Spurs won’t surrender easy buckets and they’ve always been able to lock down and get stops when they need to. That will ultimately be the deciding factor that does the Suns in. – Spurs in 7.

#4 Utah Jazz vs. # 5 Houston Rockets
 
 Last year the Rockets had the Jazz right where they wanted them. Houston had a late fourth quarter lead and home court advantage. Tracy McGrady left it all on the floor and did everything within his power, yet Houston was unable to seal the deal and advance past the first round.

 This year the Rockets have home court advantage once again, but they’re missing one gargantuan ingredient: Yao Ming. Houston showed great solidarity and resolve in the face of adversity after Yao went down with a  season-ending knee injury reeling off 22 consecutive wins, the second longest win streak in league history. Dikembe Mutombo still showed that no man fly in the house of Mutombo (5.1 boards, 1.2 blocks in 15 minutes) playing rejuvenated ball and smacking shots. Hardly anyone even gave the Rockets a chance to make the postseason but they proved everyone wrong, which was an incredible accomplishment. Unfortunately for Houston, it’s irrelevant if they’re unable to get out the first round.
 
 McGrady has long been regarded as one of the game’s premier players. He’s a seven-time all-star, two-time league scoring champion and has the third highest scoring average in playoff history (28.5 ppg). However, T-Mac’s reputation remains tarnished by the fact he’s never been able to lead a squad out the first round. It will take a herculean effort for T-Mac to exorcise his playoff demons and beat the Jazz. He’ll have to drop at least 30 a night, which will be hard to do with his shoulder injury and Utah’s physical defense.

 The Jazz have major mismatches at the point with Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer at the power forward. Williams (18.8 points, 10.5 dimes) is a top-notch pg and nightmare for opposing leads. He can powerman the smaller Houston guards Rafer Alston, Bobby Jackson and Luther Head, take it to the rack and yam on bigs and get separation off the bounce for his jumper. The Rockets have never had an answer for Boozer. Utah’s all-star beast (21.1 points, 10.4 boards) has incessantly terrorized Houston since he moved to Salt Lake City. This duo completely tears up Houston and will continue to do so this series. Houston is a good team and had a fantastic year, but the absence of Yao will be too much for them to overcome. - Jazz in 5.